Saturday, October 08, 2005

Lord Of War



There it is... another post in English.
There is a movie I just saw and it pissed me off. The movie is called Lord of War. I am not saying the movie is bad, it was very good and well made. I liked it and I think it is worth watching. The last line in the movie though pissed me off.If you want to know that the last line is - watch it. The line refers to who are the biggest manufacturers and distributors of firearms in the world.
This is the second movie that makes an impression on me in that specific kind of way. I want to talk about the first one for a bit - Three Kings (George Clooney, Mark Whalberg, and Ice Cube). It ended up not being popular or making much money at the box office. It was a great movie. Why did it tank at the theaters? This is my theory... What was shown was not very convenient to think about. It makes you feel guilty about who we are, what we do, why we do it, what we are a part of, how little do we know, how we are going in the wrong direction. The movie may might be viewed as one that criticizes America's involvement in world affairs. That is not necessarily the way I see it. I view it on a larger scale (at least I would like to think I am). Any superpower in today's world could be accused of the same thing or equally bad things. Any country with power and money can and will go the wrong path. Its ran by people, humans, creatures flawed. Creatures that are powerhungry and greedy and selfish.
Lord of War brought on to me those same thoughts. Plus a couple of new ones. I am surprised either of the 2 movies made it to the movie theaters. May be they did because there is plenty of guns and shooting and one can easily miss the point and just enjoy the action (plus the cast was very popular). Movie said that it was based on true events (my personal opinion is that nowadays its hard to find one that isn't, but that's another story). After the movie I decided (or confirmed rather) that is no point following and believing actual news. Why? Its is not the way to keep people comfortable with their own lives. They are better off not knowing how their life standard is achieved. That's why I decided there is more truth to unproven theories, thoughts, messages contained in different art forms. Like those 2 movies. I believe there is more truth to those 2 movies then there is on the 7 o'clock evening news. I think it is too dangerous to show what is actually going on so it is better if its dressed in some kind of art form. It is stupid to have this logic - I know. I know I am living in my little bubble which seems to be getting smaller and smaller. May be I am trying to stay in my bubble and making my bubble smaller because it makes me feel good about myself. Because I want to be different. I have discovered the pleasure in being different when I came in here. I was different, liked it, and feel good doing/being it. I hope it takes me somewhere I like, and not end up bitter and alone in a fucking cave denying everything and everyone. Although I am very materialistic in my every day life (can be confirmed by any of the people I know here), internally I seem to be going in the opposite direction. How are we wired as human beings? Why do we have those destructive desires - power and greed (money is a form of power after all). Why do we have to be better off then the people around us, so we can feel good about ourselves? I have more things in the US then I did in Bulgaria? I don't feel any better... because I am not better off then what I think the average American does. When coming back to Bulgaria now I feel better. Because I feel like I have something more then the average Bulgarian. I know its wrong. I know it's wrong to feel that way and even though I try really hard not to show it, I still feel it on the inside. I don't think I should feel better about the fact that I (think) I have something more then the people around me. But I guess I can't help it. I never want to make anyone feel inferior to me. I don't want to be that person thinking he is above/better then the people around him. Anyway, on my way out of the theater, I was looking at the things around me with disgust. I noticed the nice comfortable seats in the theater, all the cars parked in the big parking lot. All the lights, and all the building, and all the straight lines of everything surrounding us. Anyone reading this might advise me to "Go live in the jungle" and their will probably be within their right. Even I realize it's somewhat silly thinking those ideological thoughts. But I like to think they make me different. I am thinking humans do not need all they have right now to feel happy. On the contrary, I don't believe there was a time in the history of mankind in which people were more miserable. Its all about the missed opportunity, missed chances, living to your full potential, pushing yourself, having more, and rubbing very subtly (or not very subtly) in the faces of those around us. While I was driving back from the movie, I was wondering "When did people started feeling miserable?". I did not think I would think of the answer. But I did. It might not be the right one, but it makes sense to me. I think that ever since money came along, people have become slaves. It is a very weird form of slavery though. It is ironic that we ourselves invented money. So I guess I am not sure the term slaves applies here since we enslaved ourselves and that is sort of an oxymoron. The question "When did people start feeling miserable?" brought on another question. "What exactly is the evolution of mankind?". It seems to me that we have the wrong concept. If people believe in reincarnation or life after death, the general concept is that we become something more sophisticated, something smarter, something with more control. I was thinking that if there is such a thing as reincarnation and life after death, then it might be possible that we become something more simplified, something with no control over things and surroundings. For example, isn't it possible that after death a human becomes a mosquito or a stone. I would think that a mosquito or a stone are much more happy and content with themselves then any other more biologically sophisticated creature or being. May be we go a step back every time we die. Truth is that I don't believe in neither afterlife nor reincarnation... but I think it's interesting to think about. Something else that concerns me (usually only after movies such as Lord of War) is "Are we (humans) ever going to become good?" or will it happen as they said in the movie - "Evil prevails". I don't have an answer about this one. I am working on it though. There is no point in me pretending I am the greatest humanist in the world. I have had a dog as a child and I've hit it. I was not sadistic to the dog (at least I would like to think that I wasn't). I did not beat it for fun or anything. I was trying to teach him things. My point is that we all have something mean in us, something sadistic. Whether we want to admit it not. If you think you are not mean, you just have not been provoked the right way. There is something that wakes the little sadist in you. But try to deny this. That's what I do and so far it seems to work good enough for me to live with myself.
The anger that I initially had when starting this post has disappeared. In the time it took me to type all this, I have re-accustomed myself to the man-made conveniences of morern life. Right now... I am going to go eat.. in my kitchen.
PS Тоя пост ще го преведа на български стига да има който да прояви интерес. Дойде ми днес на английски да пиша, не знам защо. Сигурно защото мислите след филма ми бяха на английски, а поста бе главно за тях.

6 Comments:

Blogger djshawn said...

I am so glad I get to read a post in english. And I get to reply to a post of one of my good friends.

Everytime you see something bad, or see something bad on the 6 o'clock news(lol), you can be certain that it was caused by ourselves. By ourselves I mean human beings. Being materialistic is the root of all evil... people want to have more than the next person, and some will do anything to get it. There is poverty everywhere! And i know alot of people outside this country think that being poor in America is not as bad as in other countries. I can't really give my opinion on that, since I never been outside the country. But, I am thinking that it isn't so expensive in other countries to maintain a normal life. I would believe this to be average per month.... Rent= $500, Utilities= $200, groceries= $250, gas for your car= $100, insurance for your car= $100, etc. $1150 per month just to get by.... that's $13,800 just to be poor. I hate material things, but have fallen into wanting things for myself occassionally. I don't really care about money, as long as I can pay my bills and eat.... I am happy. I have had alot of things before.... the nice house, brand new car, expensive clothes, jewelry, nice electronics, and alot of money to go to all the nice resturants. I will admit that I was happy, but not because I had all these nice things.... but, because I had someone that loved me. She was great. But, as soon as she was gone... I was miserable. Miserable with all my nice things. We don't need them. Anyway, back to my point... all bad things in this world are caused by humans... poverty, war, murder, rape, etc.
And don't even get me started on the terrible weather that seems to get worse every year. We fool ourselves on a daily basis. We tell each other that its ok, as we drive our fancy cars, wear our expensive clothes, drink our $5 lattes, drink our $4 imported beer as we are telling each other how great we are.

Two more quick points...First, on being sadistic or mean to our pets. Sigh. That's the least of the proof that we are an evil society. My father used to beat me until I could not breathe. I was not a bad kid, but he was an alcohollic and his thoughts were different. Just like the dog that gets beat... it becomes mean, and doesn't trust people. It bites and stays to itself. Imagine what it has done to me..... the same.

Alex, you are the least of materialistic people I know. You are a good person, and when you go home to your friends.... you will be a better person, because you will remember how miserable it can be in a materialistic world.

Anyone who thinks that depression is not real.... read the above and tell me it's not real.

Alex hates when I do this, but come see my blog "Life as I Know It"

I will surely send all my english reading friends to read this, as I made a small post on mine with a link.

4:28 AM  
Blogger Vishal said...

that was a brilliant blog ... will keep checking pls post in english ..:)

9:39 AM  
Blogger Chackler said...

Good post! Yes, more in engish please.

7:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

damn bulgarian... you really went off on a tangent.. i just wanted the movie review. did you see jarhead yet? pretty decent movie.
anyway, as i was reading your blog i had ideas on what i wanted to say in this comment field, but my attention span is too short.. and thus here i am. too lazy to even write an intelligent comment.

9:40 PM  
Anonymous Frank - Ayporos said...

The biggest problem with the human race (as I see it) is self-denial. What you said about the movie Lord Of War and others just like it is absolutely true.. but there's more to it. You see there are also numerous (if not more) movies that tell you that money isn't important, being happy is. "happiness isn't the destination, it's the road." As a writer (whos name I unfortunatelly can't remember) once said it. It never seizes to amaze me that there are so many movies and books and songs and what not telling us to just be happy, love and be loved.. but nobody listens. Everybody appears to ignore it, label it as fiction or just trash.. People know very well that money isn't the most important thing in life, they just won't admit it.

Enough of my little pessimistic view on the world.. but if you'd like to share your view or talk to me about anything you like, feel free to e-mail me (as I probably won't see this blog/site again).

- Frank aka Ayporos.

1:47 PM  
Anonymous Frank said...

ps, would be handy to actually state my e-mail.. lol:

frankvandermast@home.nl

1:48 PM  

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